Are there any gay friendly bars in Guelph?

Original Question: Are there any gay freindly bars in Guelph? Or even just a place that someone can meet other queer people.

Response:

Unfortunately, there are no exclusively gay bars in Guelph; however, there are some gay-friendly places to meet other LGBTIQQ2 people.

Downtown there’s Out On The Shelf (141 Woolwich Street, Unit 106) which is a resource centre and lending library specifically for the LGBTIQQ2 community. It hosts Board Game nights, knitting groups, and other social groups. This Saturday, January 30, there is a knit-a-thon fundraiser taking place from 10 am till 4 pm and a movie night from 7 to 9:30pm. You can call them at  (519) 515-0691 or visit them online for more information.

The Albion (located at  49 Norfolk Street, across form the Church of Our Lady) has a gay-friendly night on Thursdays. The Guelph Googenheim (on Woolwich Street, between Gordon Taylor Music and the Trafalgar Building) also regularly hosts LGBTIQQ2-friendly events including dances specifically for the Guelph Queer Community.

If you’re on campus, Guelph Queer Equality (GQE) hosts socials every Tuesday night and a couple of dances throughout the year.

This is just a taste of gay-friendly Guelph – for more information check out the OUTline main page for more links.

As a lesbian student, would Guelph be an accepting school overall?

Question: As a lesbian student, would Guelph be an accepting school overall? I know there will always be the occasional bigot, but could I be comfortably out of the closet or even in a (not hidden) relationship there? This is one of my main concerns with choosing a university (believe it or not).

Response:

There isn’t anything unbelievable about your question.  It is a concern many students have and consider when choosing a place to study and live for many years.

The University of Guelph has a history of supporting the rights of its students, including students with lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer identities.  The Human Rights and Equity Office (a department of the University) and the Central Students’ Association Human Rights Office (operated by students) work to create change that provides equity to all students, regardless of identity.

The University of Guelph also has one of the oldest queer student groups in Canada (Guelph Queer Equality) and has some of the most diverse services that support queer students.  Apart from the services already mentionned, Counselling Services operates a Coming-out support group call CampOUT, The Wellness Centre provides queer-specific health information and the Guelph Resource Centre for Gender Empowerment and Diversity has a feminist library filled with queer-related publications.  Of course there is also OUTline which provides confidential and anonymous  support.

Other non-queer specific departments that are queer-positive (i.e. they actively talk about and train staff in sexual orientation and gender identity issues) include (but not limited to): Police Services, Housing Services (residence), Aboriginal Resource Centre, Multi-Faith Resource Team, Student Volunteer Connections and the Central Students’ Association (the governing student body).

In the community, Guelph has a rare gem: a queer lending library in the downtown core (Out On The Shelf ) that also houses a number of social groups.  At the end of May there is a Pride Week that celebrates a variety of queer identities.

All this being said, you are correct: there are narrow-minded people in Guelph, as there are in any community. Hateful graffiti and comments can still be seen and heard, particularly as new communities are formed with new students arriving in September.  The reality is, wherever you choose to go you may encouter this.

That being said, the University of Guelph has had a number of hate-crime vigils when it does take place,  put on a production of the Laramie Project (which included members of staff, faculty and student bodies, including the current President of the University) and hosted the 2009 Canandian Universities Queer Services Conference.  It also operates the longest running Human Sexuality Conference in the country.

If you want to chat with someone about any of these, you can always give us a call (519-836-4550).  We’re open Tues, Wed, Thurs from 6-9 pm starting next week.

Are there any resources available to help me if I’m not a UofG student or a GW community member?

While OUTline primarily serves the University of Guelph and surrounding community, we never turn away a caller. So if you’re looking to chat about sexuality, you can give us a call regardless of where you are from. We may not have ready-at-hand referrals for your area, however we will do everything we can to help you find them.

We are open tomorrow night (January 5, 2010) from 6-9 pm and starting on the 12th, we’ll be open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights from 6-9 pm. Our number is 519-836-4550. At this time we do not have a toll-free number.

There are also a few other places you may want to investigate:

1. Many communities have Distress Centres. These Centres typically operate 24 hours a day and have an extensive referrals database. They are staffed by trained community members who are there to listen. While training in sexual orientation and gender identitiy issues may vary in some places, these community agencies can provide a listening ear and referrals. The Centre for Suicide Prevention has a searchable map of Canada to locate the closest Distress Centre to you.
2. Many communities have AIDS Committees. AIDS Committees have a history of supporting and working with sexual orientation and gender identity issues. While they may not have direct programming relating to your situation, chances are they would know if there were any support groups and programs in your area. The Canadian Aids Society has a list of member organizations you can browse. If you are in a rural area, check the AIDS Committee in the closest municipality; typically these Committees have a wide jurisdiction.
3. If you are in Ontario and looking for medical-based support (counsellors, physicians etc.) you can try visiting Rainbow Health Ontario’s website. There you can search their database for your area.
4. For anyone in Canada, you can check out PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) which has a number of resources on coming-out and other issues. (Click on “Looking for Help” Tab at the top of the homepage).
5. If you are in a community that has a University, it may be worth a call. While some schools only provide services to students, many are open to the community as well. At the very least, they may know of other resources in your community. Your best contact would be someone at the school’s Student Union.

If this question and answer directly relates to you, feel free to send another message through our form with the city or region you are in and we’ll see if we can find you resources specific to your area. Knowing where you are from will help us give you a more specific response, and will in no way reveal your identity.

Am I Bi or is it a phase?

Question: Is there anyway to make it clearer what my sexual orientation is?

Response:

As people, we sometimes have a need to label things.  This includes our sexual identity.  These labels help us to put a name to what we are feeling.  However, often these labels are created to help other people understand who we are, and can even limit our identity.

There is no rule that says we have to identify as “gay”, “lesbian”, “bisexual”, “queer” or any other.  It is up to us to decide if those words suit us.  For some, no existing label suits them.

If you are feeling confused about your identity, attractions and feelings, take your time to fully explore them as much as you feel comfortable doing so; there’s no rush.  Making the decision to choose a label is yours to make on your own time, and certainly no one else’s.

If you do decide to choose a label at some point, know that it can change as you learn more about yourself.

This may not be a straight forward “you-should-do-this” answer because no one can (or should) tell you who you are except yourself.

If you want to chat, feel free to give us a call 519-836-4550. We’re open 6-9 pm Tuesday night next week (January 5th) and Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights from then on.   Sometimes it’s nice to talk to someone who’s been there.

How can I find a gay roommate in Rez at UofGuelph?

When you apply to Residence at the University of Guelph you will be asked to fill in an application form.  It’s important to fill out this form as fully and honestly as possible.  It has various options that you can choose that can help match you up with the best possible roommate.  For example, it asks about whether you smoke or not, as well as your preferred sleep schedule. Student Housing Services (the folks that run the Residences) uses this information to match you up with a roommate with similar interests.

Unfortunately, the application does not have space to request particular kinds of roommates (for example, a gay roommate or a queer-positive roommate).  That being said, the University of Guelph prides itself on having a community accessible to everyone, and expects respect from all students, staff and faculty in regards to human rights.  The University takes a very strong stance against discrimination based on sexual orientation.  If you experience any issues on this front with a roommate, the residence staff (Residence Assistants (RAs) or Residence Managers (RMs)) will be able to help you explore your options and even help re-assign you to a different room if the situation comes to that.

If you are really concerned about a potential roommate, here are a couple of options:

1. You can request to be roommates with someone specific, for example a friend, who is also attending.
2. You can apply for a single room and fill out the section of the application that asks about special considerations.
3. You can apply for residence in Arts House (Maids Hall). This residence is known for being particularly sensitive to small community needs as it is the smallest residence on campus.
4. You can also call Student Housing Services directly and talk to them about your concerns.

The University of Guelph’s policies regarding discrimination are held by the Human Rights and Equity Office. Visit the link and you’ll find information about LGBTTTIQQ policies on the right side.

How do I tell my parents I’m gay?

Coming-out is a unique journey for everyone and there is no book of rules stating when or how you should tell your parents. Some tell their parents right away and others wait years to do it.

Here are just some of the questions we would ask you if you were to call us:

Do you have other people who support you?
A friend or relative who knows your situation could come in handy if you need someone to talk to after telling your parents. It’s also a good idea to make sure you have a place you could spend the night if things go badly. OUTline and other support lines (see below) can act as a great resource throughout the process.

Is this a good time?
Timing can be very important. If your parents are dealing with other stressful issues right now (a death in the family, loss of job, separation), it might be in your best interest to wait for a time when things are more stable. Also, coming-out in anger or during an argument can lead to a rash response simply because the atmosphere is negative.

Have you put yourself in your parents’ shoes?
Remember, you’ve had some time to think about and adjust to what your sexual orientation and gender identity means for you. Your parents may not have had that opportunity.

Are you in control of your journey?
While friends and partners can be a great support for you, make sure you are ready to come-out and they aren’t pressuring. Also, using someone else to come out for you can send the message that your friend “put you up to it.” It’s important to make sure this is what you want and it is on your terms.

Are you ready to be patient and supportive?
Your parents may go through a lot of emotions and thoughts when you come-out to them. Be prepared to give them resources and explain why it is important to you.

For more things to consider, check out this brochure by the Philadelphia chapter of Parents and Friends of Lesbians And Gays (PFLAG).

If you’d like to talk one-on-one about coming-out to your parents, don’t be afraid to call us at 519-836-4550. We’re open Tuesdays and Wednesdays from 6-9pm and are always ready to listen.

You can also contact one of these other toll-free support lines:

Lesbian Gay Bi Trans Youth Line: 1-800-268-9688
Guelph-Wellington Distress Line: 1-888-821-3760
Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868

A Taste for Life (Apr 29/09)

The AIDS Committee of Cambridge, Kitchener, Waterloo & Area’s (ACCKWA) delicious fundraiser takes place Wednesday, April 29th.

On that day hundreds of people in Waterloo Region will be dining out for a good cause. Our wonderful restaurant owners have pledged to donate 25% of their dinner proceeds to people who are infected and affected by HIV and AIDS in Cambridge, Kitchener, Waterloo and area.

For lunch 11:30am-3:30pm;

Caribbean Kitchen
located at Your Kitchener Market
King St downtown Kitchener
519-568-8292

Casa Salsa
located at Your Kitchener Market,
King St downtown Kitchener
519-342-4582
www.casasalsa.ca

For dinner 5 pm – close, MAKE RESERVATIONS at;

Golf’s Steakhouse & Seafood
598 Lancaster St W, Kitchener
519-579-4050
www.golfssteakhouse.com

Vijay’s Indian Cuisine
380 Weber St W, Kitchener
519-743-6060
www.vijaysindiancuisine.com

Consider having your family, friends, office or club “adopt” a restaurant and pledge to fill it.

For more information go to www.atasteforlife.org

Please help us make this the best Taste for Life Event ever by filling a table or a restaurant and making sure all your friends know about this unique and enjoyable way to help people living with HIV and AIDS in Waterloo Region.

Iowa Governor Won’t Fight Marriage Decision

Article by: Julie Bolcer – Source: The Advocate

Iowa Governor Chet Culver said that he will not fight the state supreme court’s decision on Friday to open marriage rights up to gay and lesbian couples. Culver, in a statement issued on Tuesday, said that the state must move on to concentrate on more pressing issues like the economy and the global economic decline.

To read the full article, click here.

Same-Sex Marriage Legalized in Vermont

Article by: Julie Bolcer – Source: The Advocate

Following tense and emotional proceedings on the legislative floor, the Vermont house voted 100-49 at 11 a.m. on Tuesday to override Gov. Jim Douglas’s veto of marriage-equality legislation. After an earlier morning vote by the senate, 23-5, to override the veto, the house vote makes Vermont the first state to recognize marriage equality through the legislative process without first being ordered to do so by the court.

To read the rest of the article, click here

How do I get STI testing in Guelph?

STI (Sexual Transmitted Infections) testing is a very important part of taking care of your health if you are sexual active. STI’s can have few or no symptoms and many people don’t know they are infected. It’s a good idea to get tested regularly (we suggest every 6 months).

Confidential STI testing and anonymous HIV testing can be done at the Wellington-Dufferin-Guelph Public Health Unit located in Guelph at 600 Southgate Drive.  The Sexual Health Clinic is open: Monday & Friday 9:30 a.m. – 4:30 p.m. and Tuesday & Thursday 11:00 a.m. – 6:30 p.m.

Your first step is to call ahead and make an appointment. Their number is: 519-846-2715 ext. 4677.

When you arrive at your appointment, you’ll check in at the desk. They will set you up with a public health nurse who will ask you some questions and administer the tests. The testing is usually a combination of a urine test and blood test, depending on which STI’s you are being tested for. For more information on the HIV tests available at the Health Unit, click here.

Once testing is done, they will let you know when to expect results. It usually takes two weeks, but sometimes it can take longer. If you got an anonymous HIV test, the nurse will give you a card with your ID number (so they can find your file when you return). This ID is not linked to your name in anyway, so you remain anonymous.

The Health Unit may or may not contact you when your results are in. If you haven’t heard from them by the time the nurse said the results would likely return, feel free to call and ask. If they are in, you they will ask you to make a follow-up appointment to receive your results. Please note: Public Health will never give the results over the phone, so don’t panic if they refuse to.

At your follow-up meeting, the nurse will ask you some more questions and share your results. If you test positive for any STI, they can provide treatment options, counselling and referrals to resources.