Should I come out or not?

Should I come out or not?


Hey there,

Thanks for asking this question.

It sounds like you’re debating with yourself about whether to come out, which makes me think you’d already come out to yourself. That’s an important first step that takes a lot of courage. You’ve fought half the battle already!

Unfortunately, there’s no black-and-white answer to your question, “should I come out [to others]”.

The answer will be complicated because there are lots of things to consider – is this the right time? Am I ready to educate? Am I prepared for any reaction? Is this MY process?
These posts could give you a better idea about these and other questions you might consider as you move forward.

Ultimately, only you can make this decision based on what you feel is right and best for yourself. Coming out isn’t easy. It takes courage and though it’s often built up as a single event, it’s really more of a process. How that process goes is up to you – but I can tell you that it often gets easier over time.

Once you’ve come out to a handful of people in your life, you might find yourself coming out more often as you get comfortable. How you do it might change too – the first time you come out, it might feel like a big deal – with a letter or maybe a cake involved. One day, it might be something you just slip into conversation, like it ain’t no thing.

Remember that you don’t have to come out to everyone all at once. Maybe you want to come out to your friends but not your parents – do your thing. Maybe you’d like to tell your parents but not your friends – go for it. Maybe you’d like to shout it from the mountain tops – or the top of Mountain Hall – you tell em’! But be safe, we’re not advocating dangerous Mountain (land formation or residence hall) climbing here.

Maybe you’d just like to hang out in the cloest a little longer – that’s okay too. The closet can be a safe place to hang out. Don’t let others pressure you into doing anything before you’re ready.

However the process goes for you, whatever you decide to do, take care of yourself. Do things that nurture you, get enough sleep, lean on your friends, go for walks – whatever makes you feel good. Coming out can be stressful and it’s super important that we care for ourselves to mitigate that stress!

Don’t be afraid to tap into the resources that are available to you as well – like you did by coming to AskOUTline’s blog. Here are just a few of the places you might check out in and around U of G.

If you’d like to talk more about this question or other concerns you may be facing, why not give us a shout? OUTline’s volunteers will be on the lines tonight from 6-9pm, and every week on Mondays, from 3:30-6pm, Wednesdays from 6-9pm, and Fridays, from 1-3pm. Call us at (519) 836-4550.

Best of luck to you on your journey,

❤ Liz


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