Do you know any gay guys that can show me around campus and such but are in the closet as well? And what if I’m in the closet and want to meet people?
First we want to thank you for your question, and for reaching out to us.
From what we understand, you’re looking for a likeminded individual to show you around the Guelph campus, preferably someone who identifies as a gay man, but isn’t necessarily out to their friends and family.
We can totally understand how finding other guys who are still in the closet, or at least the beginning of their coming out journey, is tricky; most people at this stage aren’t jumping up and down telling the whole world how they feel, and searching for these people can be hard. Fortunately there are resources on campus for people who are questioning their sexuality or going through the coming out process. From the wording of your question, it seems to us that you’re not yet a student at U of G, but that you’re interested in becoming one.
If you do end up studying here at U of G, you might consider getting in touch with the folks at CampOUT.
CampOUT is an awesome peer support group where queer, trans*, and questioning students can get together to chat confidentially about whatever’s on their mind in an undisclosed location once a week. It’s mostly geared at first-year students, but all university-aged folks are welcome to attend. CampOUT strives to create a safer space where students can ask questions they may not feel comfortable asking within their own friend group. To find out more, drop them a line at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Until then, it sounds like you’d really like to check out our beautiful University! Have you considered coming for a Campus Tour? The tour guides may not be closeted gay men (well, you never know!) but they can certainly show you around campus.
Another resource that may be helpful for you is the online community. Have you ever considered joining an online “dating” site? We put “dating” in quotation marks because although these sites are often geared towards individuals who want to find a significant other or sexual partner, a lot of people on these sites are just looking to find friends or like-minded folks who are going through the same thing. You don’t necessarily need to be looking for love, you could use it to widen your friend group. If you think the online community sounds promising, Plenty of Fish and Ok Cupid are both free online dating sites where there is an option to list yourself as just looking for friends.
Of course, if you’re going to meet someone IRL (In Real Life), it’s good to be careful.
- Always meet in a public place, and let friends or family know where you’re going and for how long. You don’t need to tell them who you’re meeting, you could just say “I’m going to the café around the corner for an hour, see you later!”.
- Consider getting a trusted friend to check in with you at a designated time.
It isn’t always easy to find people who are going through the same thing as you; when people are “in the closet” they tend to keep that information to themselves, or at least within a small group of friends. Just remember that you aren’t going to be alone on the Guelph campus, and if this post is even a little bit right, there are probably lots of other guys going through similar experiences!
If you have any more questions, or just want to talk about how you’re feeling, you’re always welcome to give OUTline a call at (519) 836-4550 or chat with us online at www.qlinks.ca/outline during our peer support hours.
We’re open on Mondays from 3:30-6pm, Wednesdays from 1-3pm and 6-9pm, and Fridays from 1-3pm until April 25th.
Wishing you the best,
❤ Elise and Liz