My mom is questioning my sexual orientation – please help!

Question: So my mother asked me the other day was I lesbian? I said I wasn’t and I asked why?? She Said it was because I only talk about girls in my class ( there is only girls in my class not one boy :/ ) and the way iv been dressing and then said she was ok whit it…

And to make matters wours Iv been questioning my sexuality a lot.. In secondary or high school every one though I was a lesbian.. I feel like im being pushed to be lesbian or bi because of it all… At the moment im just looking but not looking for a relationship or anything I just want to foucous on my college work.. So what should I do please help me!!

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Thanks for contacting us! It sounds like you’re feeling that other people are making assumptions about your sexuality before you’re ready to define your identity. That can definitely be stressful.

You bring up some important questions that lots of people face. For one, sometimes other people in our lives assume they can define our sexuality for us. It sounds like your mother wanted to let you know that she was ok with it if you are a lesbian, but it can feel overwhelming when someone makes an assumption about something as complex and personal as sexuality. It can definitely feel like you’re being forced into an identity that you don’t necessarily identify with.

The great thing about sexuality is that it is free to be explored, and is always changing. It sounds like you’re already considering your own sexuality and resisting the assumptions other people are making. Perhaps you would find it helpful to talk to someone who has been through a similar experience! We’re so glad you reached out to us here at OUTline. We think sexual identity is something that can be celebrated, and that includes the process of questioning and exploring it. It sounds like you know what is important to you right now, like your college work, and that you’re being open and honest with yourself. We’d say keep it up!

If you have more questions or would just like to talk about how you’re feeling, you can contact OUTline once we return for the winter semester. We will be available over the phone at (519) 836-4550, or you can chat with online at studentlife.uoguelph.ca/outline during our real-time peer support hours.

In the meantime, feel free to contact the LGBT Youth Line or the Community Torchlight Distress Line for additional support.  If you’re interested in getting out into the LGBTQ+ community at all, check out the Qlinks Community Event Calendar for events and opportunities.

Thanks again for reaching out!

Carly and Jess

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